I am sitting
on a plane in Portland, Oregon. I am so happy to be going home after thirteen
days as Bill’s caretaker while he is recovering from a bone marrow transplant
very far from his home in Bend. I am giddy with excitement as I will be seeing
my husband, dog, cat and friends after being away for so long. There are
stories to tell…
At once, I
am overcome with emotion as I reflect on what the last thirteen days have meant
in my life. Although I volunteered to go and help Bill as he recovers, there
was so much more to the experience than that. I did not keep a daily diary, so
I will not be able to recall each day, but that doesn’t really matter to me at
the moment. The culmination of the entirety of these days is what caught me by surprise
as I sit in seat 28G on my way back home.
At first I
thought that I’d be cooped up in a room with Bill while he slept all day, but
it didn’t turn out that way at all! The guests at the Inn all had stories of
their own, and over the next thirteen days I got to know many of them well
enough that we exchanged email addresses!
I arrived
around midnight on January 26. It was the only flight of the day for Hawaiian
Air – I had miles… At first, I was going to catch the shuttle and drive Bill’s
car, but that didn’t work out, and we ended up sharing the cost of a rental
car. The rental car was a 2012 Ford Focus – my son, Alan has just ordered a
2013 Ford Focus to replace the one he bought when he graduated from college in
2000; driving it made me think of him. The drive to the Inn in the dark was
challenging, and Bill’s knowledge of the Portland area was limited, but I did
arrive without any wrong turns (well except for going the wrong direction on
the freeway, but I figured that out and corrected it before I called Bill for
directions) and began my time at the Inn. Upon my arrival, we chatted for a
short bit and I rolled out the cot which would be my bed for the next thirteen
nights.
I knew
before I arrived that Bill would be sleeping a lot, and at the doctor a lot, so
I brought a project with me to fill in the gaps. I had cut squares from the
plastic needlepoint canvas I got during my last visit to help Bill when he was
still in Bend in November, and got letter/number patterns online. At first I was
going to make capital letters and sew six squares together into blocks for my
granddaughter, but I later thought it would be too hard for Luisa – I later
decided that I would make ‘tiles’ – maybe lower case letters on the reverse
side, and bright bold colors as the background. It was my mission, and ended up
being the afternoon conversation piece at the Inn among my new friends.
I set up my
daily crafting at the window side of the kitchen table and spent each spare
minute of the next ten days working on my granddaughter ‘project’. The Bill
project came first...
On my first Sunday
morning, I tried to get my bearings and figure out how the rest of my stay
would unfold. The first of many of the guests I would meet was Linda. She was
61 years old and lived in a low income retirement home in Downtown Portland. There
were some renovations going on at her apartment and she chose to stay at the
Inn instead of the hotel that was offered by the apartment complex. She was
unhappy about most of what she thought was being done there. In fact, she
seemed to be unhappy about everything. She wanted to know everyone’s business,
and did her best to make sure everyone knew hers. She was a busybody knowing
everything about everyone staying at the Inn. She seemed unhappy and was
judgmental, but she was helpful telling me the ‘rules’ and what to expect. In
spite of this, we kind of were friends; I even took her out shopping on her
last day, because she didn’t have a car. Consistent with her behavior, she had
no interest in exchanging information for the future. It was she who introduced
me to Dr. Joe. Everyone at the Inn seemed to agree that there is always ‘someone
like that’ and accepted her as she was.
I think it
was that first Sunday when Rogerio wandered in – quite a bit later than when he
was supposed to – he had lost or misplaced his documentation in Dallas (or some
Texas airport) and missed his flight. He was from Brazil, and I learned that he
was going to stay for a year. His pleasant nature did not reveal his knowledge
– his demeanor did not command respect. Later, I found out that he was a
professor at the university in Sao Paulo, Brazil, and his reason to be in
Portland was for post-doctoral studies. He had no phone with which to call and
announce his arrival so I loaned him mine.
That would
be when I met Mike – the innkeeper – for the first time. A little bit
disorganized, happy-go-lucky, fun kind of guy. Mike was not only the owner, but
for the time I was there he was also the breakfast maker, laundry doer, story
teller and chauffeur. He wanted everyone to be happy, whether it was the one
night guy looking to get into the medical school – the one night person having
a job interview – the week long person using the place until they could find
their own long term place – the out of country travelers there for a week or
two or three, and even those like Bill, recovering from a lifesaving procedure.
He was there for everyone, and related well to us all.
Bill was in
a sleeping mood when I arrived, so I sat in the kitchen near the window and made
my letters. Linda came around and asked questions and made sure I understood
her miseries...
I met
Christina on Sunday, too, I think. Another post-doctoral visitor from Brazil
doing study on how eye cells communicate with each other. A young, energetic
and very driven woman – I liked her right away. It is her goal in life to cure
blindness! Though she and Rogerio were both from Brazil, they did not know each
other before meeting at the Inn. By the time she left, they were friends! Not a
love story, but a story nonetheless.
It may have
been that Sunday that Linda introduced me to “Dr. Joe,” by that name. I didn’t
really believe that his name was Dr. Joe as he was clearly Asian, but everyone called
him that, so I just did it too. He was a Plastic Surgeon from Taiwan. Language
was a barrier, but he used his time at the Inn to engage people in conversation
so as to improve his English language skill. He was a refreshing and seemingly
innocent soul for his 46 years of age. It became a daily ritual to engage in
conversation with him – just for the great fun of learning about him, his job
and his home.
It was
probably also that very first Sunday when I met Glenda for the first time. A
genuinely beautiful woman in her early 70’s who had been thrust via emergency
medevac transport because of her husband’s medical emergency (blood infection?)
into her place at the Inn. They live in Medford, Oregon. She’s a retired flight
attendant for United Airlines; I didn’t get what her husband, Murph, did before
he retired. They arrived the day after Bill’s bone marrow transplant. He in
intensive care, and she at the Inn.
I don’t
recall when I met Kelsie. She pretty much kept to herself, didn’t join the group
for breakfast, and always ate a microwave dinner. She will be a physical
therapist with her MD in May of this year. A delightful young lady from... maybe
Pennsylvania? She called home daily and usually had earphones when we saw her
in the morning and evening. Occasionally, she would be in the kitchen without
the earphones, and whichever of us that were there would engage her in
conversation. She had the brightest orange jacket that she would wear while
walking to and from the Inn. It kept her warm and made her visible to cars. We
did not worry for her safety while walking!
Then there
was Anna too. I’m writing this late, and I don’t recall where Anna came from or
went to, perhaps somewhere on the East Coast. We had few conversations, but when
we spoke, she was nice. She will be a Doctor of Internal Medicine soon; she
also will receive her MD in May. She will still need to fulfill an internship
before she can apply for Board Certification and begin her own practice. At one point in her schooling, she was offered
the opportunity to ‘close’ a surgical procedure, which she wanted to do. Unfortunately,
she poked herself with the suture needle (went through the double gloves and
drew blood). The patient had hepatitis C, and she underwent months of testing
to be sure that she had not been infected with that disease. Fortunately, she
did not get the disease, but it affected her vision of the future. It was early
enough in her schooling that she was able to shift into the specialty of a
non-surgical Internist.
So those are
the main players in this situation that became my thirteen days at the Inn. There
were others... the occasional person staying one night for a morning interview
at the medical school, or the other one night guests applying for jobs. Or even
the Dr. that flew in for one day to teach a class...
On Monday
morning, Bill had an appointment for an infusion at 8:30 am. The hospital is very
close to the Inn, but the hill is very steep. Mike, the innkeeper, was making
breakfast for the guests. “What will you have?” he asked. A happy jovial guy
who really wanted everyone to eat a good breakfast! I hadn’t thought about
eating – I was there to make sure that Bill got to the hospital. Mike would
have none of that... “How do you want your eggs?” Sausage was already cooking
and the potatoes he boiled the night before were being shredded into the pan.
“Thanks, but
I don’t have time to eat. I need to get Bill to the hospital for his
infusions...”
“You eat,”
he said. “I’ll take him down.”
Really? I had
only just gotten there, but I was finding out that the Inn was a special place.
After the
infusions for that day, Bill just wanted to sleep. I parked myself back at the
kitchen table to work on letters and numbers for my granddaughter. I was at the
point where I really needed to find a JoAnn or Michaels (wonderful crafting
stores that don’t exist in Hawaii) to get the extra canvas for the backs of the
‘tiles’ and the bold and beautiful yarns to stimulate Luisa’s senses. Bill was
up the next day and needed groceries. It was by accident that we found the
JoAnn’s before we found the Safeway (Bill’s money for groceries was in the form
of a gift card from Safeway). I was happy that I was able to get the things I
needed to finish my very time consuming project. I began to worry that I wouldn’t
finish all the squares in time to mail it from Portland...
From that
point on, as the days blurred into one another, my project became a
conversation piece. As the tiles were finished one by one, the guests at the
Inn would come to the table and monitor my progress!
RGB and Y
(Red, Green, Blue and Yellow)
I found the
great colors, but the yellow background made it too hard to see the white
lettering in artificial light. Looked great in the sunlight, but didn’t really
work inside. I had to undo my trial piece and needed to find the store again to
find the purple/violet yarn. It turned out to be a gorgeous color.
RGB and V (Red,
Green, Blue and Violet)
Breakfast during
my thirteen days turned into a very enjoyable morning routine. As the guests
would go off on their way, I got to know Linda better, and when she would go
out for her walk, I had the chance to talk story (as we say in Hawaii) with
Mike – the Innkeeper. He had sadly lost his wife to cancer only about two years
ago. He went through a daze after her death, and was getting his life back
together. Even has a girlfriend now! Mike and his doggies were great! His
girlfriend kept her distance from the ‘business’ but was assisting with
shopping and occasionally interacted with the guests. Her doggie, a little shih
tzu, was a guest favorite!
Nancy, who
was the manager and the brains of the Inn (and a great help to Mike) had left
rapidly in early January as one of her five sons was very ill in Southern
California. It turned out to be a rare variety of Lymphoma which was very hard
on their family. She returned to her job at the Inn just two days before I left,
so I did not get much time to know her.
Linda (the
complainer) was the constant during my stay at the Inn. Early on she commented
that the spot I had adopted at the kitchen table was really ‘hers,’ but even
though I offered to move, more than once, she eventually found another spot
that suited her.
I went with Bill
to the doctor appointment on Thursday. He told the physician’s assistant about
how tired he was, and the guy just looked Bill in the eye and said, “Did you
just have a transplant??” As if to say that sleep was a good thing for now. I wouldn’t
argue with that...
The
breakfast gatherings were good, and the stories developed during those thirteen
days. Rogerio had found a place to stay
for the next year and would be leaving the Inn shortly. The young doctors, Christina
and Anna were going to go home. Their last night, we stood in the kitchen with
Glenda, whose husband had gone from bad to worse. He had a feeding tube and
hadn’t been able to get out of bed since early January when he was brought in. He
couldn’t speak and had very recently stopped communicating with blinking his
eyes. “The infection in the heart valve,” Anna explained to Glenda, “cannot be
reached with antibiotic treatment. It will need to be replaced.”
Glenda stood
there, taking it all in, and said that he – her husband – would have to be the
one to decide whether or not to have the open-heart surgery. She was so genuine
in her belief that he – not her – would ultimately make that decision.
All of us
prayed for Murph.
Time passed
quickly now. Rogerio moved out. Christina and Anna left. Of the original
people, Kelsie (who has pretty much kept to herself), Dr. Joe, Linda and Glenda
remained. And of course, my brother, Bill. A steady stream of new faces, a few
men came to interview for the medical school as students... in one evening and
out the next day... The Rheumatologist there for one night to teach a class the
next day...
On Saturday,
Bill was finally feeling up to some time outside so we went to the zoo. It’s
all happening at the zoo! (It’s ok to hum the tune in your head...) The
experience of the zoo was somewhat disappointing. Most of the exhibits were
closed, and there was even a sign on the bird exhibit saying that they had
flown south for the winter. (I bet they were at my house in Hawaii!) We did see
the famous Lily the baby elephant. It was good to get him out in the fresh air.
We invited Dr. Joe to join us, but he rejected the opportunity. (That was the
word he used to say “thanks, but no thanks...” “Say no, that’s reject, right?”)
The halfway
point of my time at the Inn came and went. It had been a long week, but there
were many more days to go. I wasn’t finished with the alphabet and numbers, but
there was certain progress not only in my project, but with my brother Bill. I
began to realize that Linda, Dr. Joe, Glenda and Mike were monitoring my
progress with my project, and commenting on the value of the project I had
undertaken. It was long and time consuming, but I was driven to finish, and
they all had encouraging words!
Days passed.
There were routines. Linda would have her daily walk and return by around 4:00
pm. But she would be leaving on Wednesday – my day eleven. A new person, Bobby,
moved in with her husband who would undergo his second knee replacement on the
same knee. Ugh. They were both police officers and lived on a farm somewhere
past Pendleton, Oregon. I learned that she was the only qualified person in the
town to take finger prints from a cadaver. I promised to never go there... Haha,
just kidding!
Mike the
Innkeeper was the morning fixture and breakfast mattered; he was always happy and
encouraging everyone to eat breakfast... Kelsie would grab a yogurt and banana
and walk down the hill in her bright orange jacket. Dr. Joe usually made his
own oatmeal concoction and leave around 8. Linda didn’t really eat the food
that Mike made – I really don’t remember her eating breakfast at all... Glenda
would eat what Mike prepared. Breakfast was a good bonding time.
Bill had
entered into a sleeping ‘funk’ and while I would check him constantly for fever
and rash, he was always ok – just tired.
My time at
the Inn, and being Bill’s caretaker was ending quickly. I sat at the end of the
kitchen table with my letters and numbers and my laptop and was generally up
until around midnight – chatting online with my Facebook friend Connie, (I was
now two hours earlier in the time zones) and visiting with whomever should
wander in at whatever time. This night, something seemed to be missing.
“Have you
seen Glenda?” I asked out loud – “She’s usually in by now...”
She came in very
late that night. “They had to intubate him today... he couldn’t breathe.”
Dr. Joe didn’t
come in at the usual time either. Finally he arrived at midnight – full of
excitement at the surgeries he had witnessed. We chatted for a while as he
wound down from his day.
Linda didn’t
have a car – just took the bus or walked wherever she had to go. She had
mentioned that she would not like the toilet seat that they were going to
install in her renovated apartment. “The cover caves in,” she said. I knew what
she was talking about, and didn’t figure she was the type to carry a toilet
seat on the bus, so I offered to take her out on Tuesday to get a new toilet
seat for her renovated apartment. I knew she’d be leaving on Wednesday. We
chatted, but she kept her distance. I hoped she would like her renovated
apartment...
I was
focused on finishing my project, but always took time to engage with the
guests. They were becoming friends in the most unusual of circumstances.
On Wednesday
morning, it was done. The very late night before I had only made it to ‘8’ but
the morning saw the completion of the 9 and the 0.
The finished alphabets!
I packed it
all up and took it right away to the post office in the Pearl District. I was
beginning to know my way around. I was proud of my accomplishment, but sorry
that Bill didn’t see it before I packed it up and sent it off. He was doing ok
– no signs of rejection – just tired a lot, but not participating so much.
So I went to
the Post Office to mail off the project. Bill just slept. Linda left on
Wednesday, and I spent a good amount of time with Glenda and Dr. Joe that
evening. Glenda was telling us about how her husband had a miraculous recovery
and was even up and out of his bed! After being semi-comatose for the last two
months, he was breathing and talking on his own! It was exhilarating to hear that news, and we
hugged each other.
After she
retired for the evening, Dr. Joe wanted to talk. Talking helped him to get a
better understanding of the English language, but he was always somewhat
clinical about that. Like the time I came in and said, “Hi Doc!” His ears
heard, “Hi Dog.” He thought that was disrespectful, but knew I wasn’t like that
so he tried to clarify what I said. It took a lot of words, but he finally got
it!
It was fun
talking with him as he wanted to be better at speaking English and he
constantly questioned us in the effort to get better. That was fun for me and
Linda as we challenged him at every opportunity... He is a plastic surgeon in
Taiwan. We asked him, “Have you ever had a patient that you thought was too
beautiful to undergo the surgery that you perform?” Haha, he laughed and maybe
even blushed! “Yes,” he said.
At one point
I asked him about other surgeries he had performed before going into his
specialty. “I was in the industrial district – there were amputations.”
“What? You
had to amputate people’s limbs??”
On
Wednesday, Jonathan moved in. He was from Canada looking to spend three years
doing post-doctoral studying about how genes – or was that neurons – in the
brain communicate. The goal of that study is to develop better medications.
As I hear
the very wonderful news of Murph beating the odds and recovering, my heart is
warmed. “We were all praying for you,” says Dr. Joe as he pulls up an image of
Buddha on his phone.
It dawns on
me that I have spent thirteen days with the most unlikely of company. People
who make miracles happen, people who want to make miracles happen and people
(like Bill) who are miracles happening.
Angie and
Bill at Multnomah Falls. Bill wrote of this little trip, “It was a
rare day
with mostly good weather. We saw many of the other falls
as well as Vista
House, it was a lovely afternoon.”
Bill wanted
steak and a baked potato for our last meal together in Portland. When I
returned from the shopping trip, Dr. Joe was there – almost frantic – “where
were you? I wanted to see you before you left!” Glenda had a card for me with
an owl piece inside. Bill and I had spent the day at the Vista House and the Columbia
River Gorge. Just beautiful country. And there were waterfalls!
It was time
for me to leave. Bill will be fine. Glenda will make it home to Medford with
her beloved Murph, Dr. Joe is on a plane right now heading home to Taiwan via
Tokyo, and I’ll be arriving home in Honolulu in just a little while.
All of these
experiences with this random group of people will help me to see life in a
different way in the future. I was surrounded by genius young people who will
change the world with their dedication to the sciences, and regular people
facing extraordinary circumstances.
Within the
walls of the Inn, no one was better or worse than another; there was a magical
understanding. These are the experiences that define life. These thirteen days
at the Inn will forever be a part of who I am, and I am grateful.
Aloha O’e to
Portland. Thank you for the memories.
Angie Chinen, February 8, 2013
*************
Postscript:
It turns out that “Dr. Joe” was really Dr. Chou. Sounds the same! We have
exchanged emails since I returned. Also, Rogerio will be staying at our home
when he comes in April for a conference at our convention center in Hawaii. We
will be happy to have him as our guest!
